What's This All About?

05/24/2006

Okay, so I said I'd be back later this weekend. I lied. I'm just so excited that I'm having trouble concentrating at work today, so I decided to give myself a quick break. All work and no play . . . right?

A little about me . . .

I'm 36, married with one child. I work in the technology industry and have a very busy and stressful job. A few months ago I started what I am affectionately calling my mid-life crisis. (Hey, what can I say? I'm an overachiever!). As part of my mid-life crisis, I'm re-evaluating a lot of thngs in my life . . . figuring out what's important and what's not . . . trying to focus on me . . . you know how it goes. A big part of this has been my weight loss journey, which is detailed on my other blog - www.nomamacow.blogpot.com.

I've realized that my weight has a lot to do with the fact that I'm an emotional eater and tend to eat rather than face issues or endure conflict.

Okay, great, now what does this have to do with quilting?

I'm getting there . . .

Another part of my mid-life crisis includes some serious self-reflection. I know that at some point in my life I felt like I was on top of the world - that I could do anything - that I was in charge. I miss that girl. Yeah, she was naive on some things, but she was a lot of fun to hang out with. So, in the last few weeks I've been trying to remember what it was like to be her. (This is a really fun exercise, by the way. I found the best way for those memories to come flooding back is to listen to the music that I loved when I was in high school. See, now aren't you glad you didn't toss out that cassette player and all those tapes?)

After listening to the tunes for a few weeks (DH thought I was crazy) I realized that some of my best, most peaceful, most relazing times, were times that I spent quilting. You see, I learned to love quilting at a very young age from my grandmothers. I remember watching them sew for hours - all by hand of course. One of my grandmothers also sewed clothing and the other one also did lots of hand embroidery. I mostly remember how peaceful they seemed while working - almost as if the rest of the world didn't exist.

I began quilting in my early 20s. Well, let me rephrase that, I began attempting to quilt in my early 20s. Mostly I did cross-stitch. My passion for fabric, however, immediately blossomed. I can show total restraint when it comes to anything - except fabric. Something about going to a fabric store makes my pulse race. If you're a quilter, you know what I'm talking about.

My first few attempts at quilting were frustrating, but strangely exciting. I learned really quickly that I am NOT a traditional quilter. My perfectionist personality will not allow me to finish a block that isn't 100% perfect. I embraced art quilting early on.

So, flash forward a few years to Tuesday of this week. Here's the deal - I work like a dog. I don't get to quilt as much as I want to. I have 10 millions ideas that I want to try and countless quilts that I want to make. I can't quit my job (I like to live inside) and I'm pretty sure I won't live for another thousand years. So, I'm frustrated. I'm angry. I'm an artist that has been denied the ability to create.

So, do I give up quilting?

No . . . I'm not a nice person when I don't get to express my creative side.

Do I quit my job?

No . . . again, liking the living indoors thing.

Do I find a less demanding job?

Yes . . . working on that now.

Tuesday evening, feeling down, I decided to go to my bedroom, lock myself up and read my latest issue of Quilting Arts magazine (www.quiltingarts.com). HOLY COW! There's this article about this fiber artist who creates one mini-quilt each week. When I say mini, I meean about 8 x 10. As I read her interview, I felt excited for the first time in a long time. Finally, here was a way for me to try out those 10 million ideas without the pressure of creating a perfect quilt suitable for gift-giving. I could do this for ME!

Remember, I mentioned that I'm trying to do more for me . . .

So, I decided right then and there that I was going to do the same. I plan to create a mini-quilt every week. I will use this blog to show pictures of my creations, to document the materials and techniques I used, and to record my thoughts & feelings that influenced the quilt.

I'm excited! I'm thrilled! I can't wait to get started!

I'm sure I will learn something about myself through this process, and I can't wait to see how my techniques improve. All artists need to stretch their creative muscles, right?

I hope you'll stop back and visit, and I hope that you learn from any trials and errors that I am sure will occur. But mostly, I hope that by sharing this with you, you will become inspired and ebrace the artist within.

With friendship,

Care'